you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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