Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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