i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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