no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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