Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
