I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
