Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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