I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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