i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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