I didn't shave. On purpose
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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