Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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