so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
