Pants 0. Shit 1.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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