Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
