He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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