remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize