oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
