im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
