dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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