I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
