so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
