oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i barfeds in our rink
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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