so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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