Only a mothe r could love this liver
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
