Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize