I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
