Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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