I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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