Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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