why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Found your dick twin last night
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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