I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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