My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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