I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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