Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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