Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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