someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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