If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
