who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
