This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
