his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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