sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize