So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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