If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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