you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
