I think I died a long time ago.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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