whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
