omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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