In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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