it hurts more in the daytime
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
