that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
