We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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