You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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