What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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