brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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