Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
