she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
