What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
