i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Sorry about my life...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
