the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
