i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
