It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
