watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Randomize
