so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
