This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
