Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
