sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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