dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
